Six Take: No H8

Hey Everyone,

So me, and my fellow six-take bloggers, Rikke from Sticky, Sweet Danish, Jessica from tooMANYsequins, Jessica from Chic in Every City, Yoli from Diva in Deep Thought, and Sarah from Queen Sized Flava made in Montreal, have decided to write a post entitled "No H8" to promote greater understanding, acceptance, and love of others and what you might perceive to be their differences. We were inspired to do this after one of us endured hateful and abusive messages through one of our social media networks. We must show others that we will not be intimidated by their hatred, and that's what this post is all about.

Like many women who self-identify as fat, I was bullied mercilessly as a child. Other kids would call me "tub of lard" or "connect the dots" (because of my freckles) and I was often the object of other kids' cruel and elaborate schemes, one which involved getting a boy to pretend he liked me, me letting my guard down, and them pulling the rug from underneath me. These experiences left me scarred and lacking self-esteem entirely, and I found it difficult to believe that anyone would ever like me or even want to be friends with me. I suffered from two particularly traumatic physical assaults at school which resulted to my mother pulling me out of that school and registering me at another. The second school was somewhat better, though not by much. I internalized much of the bullying that had become a daily expectation; I became introverted and focused intensely on my studies to distract myself from the constant abuse from my peers. I think I also felt that if I wasn't pretty, that I should at least be smart, so that I could have something going for me...

When High School started, the aggressiveness of the Middle School bullying had dissipated, but there was a whole new sort of passive aggressive judgement that was rampant. I was lucky enough to go to a school where uniforms were required, so I didn't have to try as hard to keep up with all the brand names everyone was wearing, but on casual days, where we were invited not to wear our uniforms, you could tell that there was a lot of judgement going on regarding who was wearing what. There were also a few prank phone calls to my house. I thank my lucky stars daily that I don't have to be in High School in the Facebook era. Who knows what sort of trauma that could cause. People are so callous online. They think that the distance created by the medium of the computer gives them license to berate people, when if faced with the same thing one is critiquing in person, the berater would simply remain silent on the issue. The distance between people in an online discourse is no excuse for one to treat another poorly. Even in online environments, people should treat each other with the same respect that they would observe in-person.

Recently, there was a hashtag trending on twitter - "#onlyfatpeople." Some fat-haters began to put hateful messages after the hashtag - things like "order a diet coke with a supersize combo at McDonalds because they are 'watching their weight.'" There were a number of other terrible comments which I won't reiterate here, partially because I don't want them to function as a trigger for anyone, and also because I don't want to dignify their terrible message by re-broadcasting it. Quite frankly, those idiots and their hateful messages are not worth my time. I posted a response to this hashtag on twitter and had a number of people congratulate me for standing up to these bullies (and got about 100 new followers - welcome, by the way, if my response is what brought you here), and also a number of bullies trying to force me back into submission by way of body-shaming me. After experiencing this journey of self-acceptance, a self-acceptance that has come by way of the scripto-therapy that this blog has given me, I found myself steeled against their bold and impudent attacks. I was not affected by it. I recognize that their hatred comes from their own deficiencies, and I accept their difference in opinion. So I politely (and eloquently) told them to f*@# off. I have come to love myself and nothing can change that now. I am me, and I will be me, and I don't care what anyone says about it. I use fashion as a language to express who I am to the world. I will no longer be shy, and I will no longer submit to body policing by others who would force me into striving towards an ideal female normalized body that I would never be able to healthily (mentally or physically) inhabit.

So the pictures that accompany this post are not themed. They are just me being me, and being totally happy with who I am and what I have on and what that says about me. I can't help it if others are going to be hateful, though I can control my reaction to it. In my own life, however, I have adopted the principle of No H8, and I hope all of you will too. We are all people with hearts and hopes, dreams and desires, families and friends, and no one wants to feel the sting of hatred and we should strive for peace and understanding always.

Jacket - Forever 21+/Skirt - Thrifted/Petticoat - Sofistafunk/Shoes - Honest Ed's/Top - Redress NYC/Sunglasses - Vintage Clothing Sale in York, UK

Remember:

Above all else, to thine own self be true.
- Shakespeare

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
- Siddartha Gauttama

Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw


You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt