Body Positive!!!

Hey Everyone,

I want to start by saying that this post is not only for the fat, curvy, chubby (or however you want to define yourself) women (or men) out there - it is for everyone. I have yet to meet a person who doesn't have some issue with their perception of themselves or their body. This is one of the most all-encompassing problems women face today. When looking in the mirror, I tend to scrutinize every aspect of my appearance, even down to the microcosmic "problems" like visible pores on my nose, and I know there are a lot of you out there who do the same.

I'm sure some of you are wondering, if she scrutinizes herself this closely, how is she able to proudly post pictures of herself and her style for all the world to see? It comes down to one very simple factor - self affirmation. I cannot change the fact that negative thoughts about my body and myself will surface, but I can change what I do about those thoughts. Usually a trip to the mirror involves this thought process:

Negative Karen: Ugh, my butt is so big, I look like a stuffed sausage in this dress.

Self Affirming Karen: No, I can't think like that. I love my self and my body and appreciate all of the wonderful things that my body does for me. I do not exist solely as an aesthetic object, and my body's worth is not determined solely by my own negative perceptions of its appearance. There is no such thing as perfect, and my perception of beauty is determined by my position in a society that values unattainable or unrealistic aesthetic ideals. These values change and shift over time, which tells me that they are subjective and that I should not place so much credence in them. I am beautiful. I am smart. This looks good on me. I will wear it proudly and be happy. I will post it on the internet so other women will see it and know they can be happy too.

A long thought process? Maybe. But it's worth it. This thought process makes me happy and crazy confident. I acknowledge what I (perhaps inherently) view as my flaws, and I address them. Every time I have a negative thought about my body or my self, I self-correct, telling myself that others do not view the object of my insecurities as a big a problem as I do, and that I am my own harshest critic. The power of positive thought is astounding. There's a quote that I love that goes something like this: "whether you think you can or can't, you're right." It's natural to have negative thoughts about yourself, but once you catch yourself thinking in this way, stop, and challenge your negative thoughts. Maybe think about something that you really love about yourself...

I value each and every day in my body. Think of all the wonderful things your body can do for you - sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. The body even has the power to create another human life! Think of all these amazing things that your body is capable of the next time you have a negative thought about it. Self-esteem does not come naturally. It's a choice that we all have to make every time we look in the mirror. What way will I think of myself? Will I confront the negative thoughts that always seem to surface? I have answered yes to this question and I have finally learned to love myself. It takes some courage to make this leap into self-love, but once you do it, you will finally be at peace with your body (and shouldn't you be at peace with it? You only get one!).Think kindly about yourself. Don't say anything about yourself that you wouldn't say about your best friend. Before I learned to love myself, I used to think things about myself that I wouldn't say about my worst enemy. We all internalize negative perceptions of ourselves, but it is what we do about those internalized perceptions that defines how we carry on. Do you want to always be at odds with your body? It's really the only thing we can actually and permanently own in our lives. Make peace with it and your entire existence will be happier and more beautiful - I promise.

Centre and ground yourself with self-affirmation. Tell yourself that you look beautiful (because you do). Be at peace with yourself. Be happy that you are who you are. Love yourself. You will be happy that you did.

Thank You For the Music!

Hey Everyone,

This isn't really a fashion or an OOTD post, but I was really, really inspired when I came across the blog By Anika and she wrote this post about music and how it can help us to feel great about ourselves. Music is a very important part of my life and definitely helps me channel emotions. Anika was saying that when she wants to feel great and have a bit of a spring in her step when she is rocking an awesome outfit, the song that plays in her head is "Show me What You're Working With" by Mystical. She says, "The lyrics may not be politically correct, but who cares, it gives me ooommmppphh and the power to let go of what I can not change (my backside) as well as the power to change what I can (my estimation of my backside)." She is a great inspiration! Do you have a song that does this for you? I have SOOO many - and they are all on my iPhone in a playlist called "Swagger" so I remember to have that when I'm listening to them. They sort of remind me to feel good about myself. Peacock clothing and accessories also do this for me - as they typically represent pride because of their showy colours. Do you have anything like that, which reminds you to keep your head held high? I am going to share my feel-good mix with you all - these are songs I play in my head or on my iPhone when I need a boost or really show that world out there what I'm working with. What are your favourites? These are not in any particular order.

Beautiful You Are - Deborah Cox
The Dress Looks Nice on You - Sufjan Stevens
Follow the Light - Travis
Here Comes the Sun and Let it Be- The Beatles
Hometown Glory - Adele (really anything by Adele - she is such an inspirational curvy woman!)
Hot Child in the City - Nick Gilder (this is a good one for that strut thing I was talking about)
I Gotta Feelin' - Black Eyed Peas (I like this for getting ready to go out)
Live Your Life - Rihanna ft. T.I
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough - Michael Jackson
Queen - We Will Rock You
Sea of No Cares, Ordinary Day, and When I'm Up - Great Big Sea
Single Ladies and Bootylicious - Beyonce
So What and Raise Your Glass - P!nk
True Colours - Cyndi Lauper
Vogue - Madonna
You're So Damn Hot - Ok Go

Please comment with your favourites!

100th International Women's Day

Hey Everyone,

I was planning on writing a post about my Pick of the Week today, but since it's the 100th International Women's Day, I've decided to write a bit about women, their bodies, and self-esteem. I don't want this to turn into a rant or tirade, so I'll avoid bitter remarks, and I think what I have to say will be really helpful for the many wonderful women who read this.

First of all, you are beautiful, you are smart, and you are perfect the way you are. The media portrays beautiful as a size 2, but this does not mean that this is the only form or manifestation of beauty. Beauty comes in all sizes. Society's perception of beauty is constantly shifting, and thin wasn't always considered ideal. In fact, if we plus-size girls had lived in the Renaissance, WE would have been the ideal. Look at this Botticelli painting of Venus (the goddess of love, beauty and fertility) from 1485. Clearly, thin was not in...

Thin women were considered unattractive during the renaissance because they were likely poor. Having a bit of extra chub showed that you had enough food to eat and demonstrate health and fertility. Check out any depiction of Venus or a nude during the renaissance. They all look healthy and beautiful.

Women have historically done terrible things to their bodies to acheive a certain aesthetic. In the 19th century, women put drops of acid in their eyes in order to dilate the pupil and achieve a dreamy, doe-like look. Historically, women have also painted their faces with lead-based paints and powders to appear paler. Our female forbears knew the dangers of these actions, but they were so adamant on acheiving a certain look that they went ahead with them anyways. How often have you heard the phrase "beauty is pain"? We should not have to put our bodies through significant traumas to adhere to society's perception of beautiful. Crash diets are just this. We should embrace and love our bodies at the state which is natural and healthy for them. If curvy is that state, then right on!

As James Joyce once said, "Be yourself; everyone else is taken." Don't compare yourselves to others. Just be who you are and love it.

Happy International Women's Day! Tell another woman how wonderful she is today.